I haven't written in awhile and the reason is actually a happy one. I have A LOT of energy. It started with have two good days one week, the next I had four and then all of a sudden whatever weird illness I had that we though was Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was gone! Now I don't know if it is gone for good or just laying low but I will take what I can get. Perhaps my doctor was right, before I started working she told me not to, that my body wouldn't be able to handle it. But it was a desk job, really, how much toll could it take on my body? A whole bunch it turns out, my last day of work was August 6th and it was only at the beginning of October that I began feeling better. It took me TWO full months to start to feel better after working full time at a desk job for four months. During those two months I went through many emotions, wrestled with a lot of issues. One was not being able to work, it made me feel useless, lazy and put me in despair, another issue was the fact that the girls at work and my friend whom I have known for ten years that worked with me as well-turned their backs on me, refused to speak to me, blocked me on facebook (I am not even kidding) because I didn't give them a play by play of my illness (other than my one friend I had only known these people for a few months. Well then I watched a documentary called "Happy" on Netflix, and another about the Dalai Lama, these two things changed my thinking. I will get into that on another post but for now I figured I would share the benefits I've found in being chronically ill, some are sort of shady but they are true and they are funny lol. (Naturally these won't apply to everyone as we all have different levels of illness and disability)
-Because I can no longer work I now have time to follow my interests and passions, some of them have changed, I certainly can't work on an ambulance anymore which was my true passion but now I have time to explore different things. Whether it be reading about the Dalai Lama, reading a mystery novel, cooking when I have the energy or crafting.
-When you wake up feeling really crappy you don't have anyone to answer to, you can take it easy, if your kids are in school or you don't have kids you can lay in bed all day or watch movies all day.
-When your child is sick you don't have to try to figure out who is going to care for them or call out of work and risk pissing off your boss.
-If there is an event that you really really don't want to go to you can just say you aren't feeling well and skip it.
-You can stay in yoga pants all day without being judged
-You know who your true friends are , it isn't easy to stick by someone who is chronically ill, those who stick with you are true friends
-You are no longer afraid of needles, it is impossible to be afraid of needles when you are chronically ill, you get desensitized to them after then 100th poke
-In a few decades you won't need to use your lights at night because you will glow in the dark from all of the radiation from the scans
-You can love the weather where you live. I live in upstate NY, we get SLAMMED with snow every winter, I adore winter, adore the snow, adore the storms....why? Because I don't have to go out in it if I don't want to. While everyone else is scrapping the ice off of their cars I am in my jammies with a hot cup of coffee watching the gorgeous snow fall.
-You know what really matters, when you are chronically ill you only have so much energy so over time you toss the things that aren't important so you can save your energy for the things that are.
-Compassion, when we face adversity we grow strong but we also grow compassionate (hopefully, some of us just choose to be angry) You can use that compassion to help others.
I'd love to hear from you, what benefits do you see in being chronically ill?
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